A Bone Spur Update – Or Lack There Of

I went to the doctor today about the bone spur on my shoulder blade. He said it was just muscle pain and to get over it, more or less, but at my insistence gave me a referral for an orthopedic doc. What a waste of twenty bucks, I hate going to doctors just to be sent to another doctor. I also hate being told that I’m over-reacting, especially when I’m not actually being listened to. I know my body, I know what muscle pain feels like and this is not that. I also know that this shoulder did not sit the way it does now a few months ago. Doctors just don’t LISTEN, I don’t care about the pain, I can manage that with yoga and it’s not all that bad anyway, I care about the possibility that there’s something damaging happening. Nothing left but to wait for the next doc, but that probably won’t be for a couple of months. I’m not going to another doc until I can go to one we trust, and that won’t be until after we move. 

        It’s been a very long week (I’m including the weekend, just because I can) and I’m dead tired. I hope all my lovely followers have been enjoying all the poetry I’ve been pumping out lately, as it’s all I can find the time and energy for. I hope you all are having more fun than I. Bless be.

Bone Spur

So I mentioned, very briefly and a while ago, in my post Burn Out that I have a lovely bone spur growing on the tip of my shoulder blade. Well, for whatever reason the accursed thing is growing at a rate I didn’t know bone could grow at. I first noticed the spur, without realizing what it was in high school, when I was about fifteen or sixteen. At the time it was just a small tingle I would get, there and gone in a moment, and barely noticeable. Somewhat annoying perhaps, but nothing to be concerned about. Unfortunately in the last six months things have changed. First it was just that the tingling sensation came more frequently, then the area of tingling grew until it was the size of a spread open hand above the shoulder blade. A bit concerning, but when I realized I could manage it with yoga I wasn’t too worried. Yesterday I opened at work and things changed yet again, I haven’t been able to go to yoga in some time (I’m going tomorrow come hell or high water), and tingling transformed into outright pain. A deep ache that ranks about a five or six (on a scale of ten), and that was less than pleasant. It’s not all that bad, I’ve certainly had worse, but it isn’t fun and more importantly it seems to suggest that it’s beginning to do serious damage to the muscles in my back. There’s also a strong likelihood that it’s beginning to damage a nerve back there, thus the tingling. I’m also getting some serious swelling going on. I went to work again today, fully expecting it to be a most unpleasant experience. Which it was, but it was both worse and better than yesterday. On one hand the pain spiked to a seven and stayed there most of the night, on the other seven is evidently where my body draws the line and sends out the endorphins in full force, allowing me to stay in a functional fuzziness where the pain, while still unpleasant, was distant.

It’s looking like I’m going to have to get surgery to have the bloody thing removed. I’ll know more on Tuesday, when I see the doc and will likely get an x-ray. I have no fondness and even less trust for Western medicine. It has not been kind to me or mine in the past. So it is not an admission I’m comfortable with, but I know of no alternatives for dealing with this.

Jumping off the Ladder

           Yep, everyone I’m jumping off the ladder. Not literally fortunately. I’m just participating on Amanda’s live simply challenge called Jumping off the Ladder. I believe that living simply is hugely beneficial to your mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being so I decided that I really wanted to show support for this cause. In tribute I’m giving up all my video games, which I have a very mild addiction to, with the exception of one series I’m very fond of: the Creatures series. I’ve spent a lot of money, time, and brain cells on these games and enough is enough. I’ve been trying to wean myself off these for years now, but with this challenge I feel it is a good time to officially kick the habit. Wish me luck and if you wish to participate here’s the link: http://tshirtsandtwine.com/2013/04/10/ready-set/.

Unfulfilled

To work I go

To what point

I’ll never know

Time to go home

To my TV and couch

I’m worn to the bone

With my friends to go out

To a seedy bar with seedier people

Potential partners I very much doubt

Is this all there is?

 

My contribution to NaPoWriMo following the prompt. I’m liking this so far, it’s fun to try different things. On a random side note, Shadowed in Moonlight has reached fifty followers today, which is just kind of awesome! Thanks guys, you all rock 😀

National Poetry Writing Month

       So I’ve just decided to participate in NaPoWriMo, which I’ve seen around, but wasn’t entirely sure what it was so I’ve submitted this blog to that sight. I didn’t see anything else that said you have to do anything else to be a part of the festivities so I’ll just make a new category for. Now for a couple of happy accidents. The first is that I’ve written a poem everyday this month anyway and since the prompts are optional, that works out. The second is that Release just happens to fit in with the prompt for April 6th, completely coincidental. 

        So I’m looking forward to having some with this and hopefully you all will enjoy it too :).

Greed

Moonlight spills across the floor

Revealing blood and gore

And all the pain caused by greed

Grown from societies planted seed

 

I was watching some of those Discovery ID shows on Netflix today, though I hardly need an excuse to write poetry like this. It seems like lately I’m inundated with shows, documentaries, and classes that highlight society’s corruption. Perhaps that’s part of why I haven’t been feeling well, I probably need a break from that line of thought. Bear with me here, I know my posts haven’t been very long or as deep lately and I want to get back to that, I’m just struggling a bit right now. I haven’t been feeling or sleeping well of late, so hopefully I’ll have a goodnight tonight and be back to my usual self by tomorrow :).

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

You may have noticed a new addition to my side bar:

This is an award I am deeply honored to receive, given to me by Learus Ohnine: http://learus.wordpress.com/ and Willow: http://willowdot21.wordpress.com/ both of whom have very inspirational  blogs themselves so make sure to check it out. It’s funny but all I can think about is me? Inspiring? Huh that’s weird. 🙂

So here’s the rules for this award:

1. Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

Hmm, seven things about myself, lets see here.

1. I am really loving to blog so far

2. I think writing is awesome (Like anyone who’s read my blog doesn’t know that)

3. I am mildly obsessed with wolves and think they’re the coolest animals on earth

4. I like to climb and hang out in trees, just for fun

5. I watch too many documentaries

6. I love food

7. I really want to become a published author someday

My nominations (this will be filled out over time until I’ve hit fifteen)

1. http://willowdot21.wordpress.com/2013/03/30/3871/ (I love this poem and the rest of her work is equally good)

2. http://thesirenstale.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/a-failing-contest-entry/ (This is a really great story)

3. http://playingyourhandright.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/a-silent-vow/ (Another really great story)

4. http://kaelijenningswriting.wordpress.com/2013/04/02/confessions-of-a-lonely-housewife-part-6/ (I love this series, very interesting and well written)

5. http://kygrabowski.wordpress.com/2013/04/02/understand-you-deserve-more/ (A series of four poems, this is the last one, that are quite beautiful)

6. http://tshirtsandtwine.com/2013/04/08/the-attitude-behavior-gap-the-reasons/ (learning to live simply, a very inspirational idea)

7. http://thebookybunhead.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/hello-napowrimo-17/ (A beautifully done poem about being true to yourself)

8. http://michelledicken.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/my-mother-in-law-and-how-she-shows-me-unconditional-love/ (Someone I’ve only followed for a short while, but who is quickly becoming a favorite of mine. Here shown in a beautiful post about love and family.)

9. http://ourcloudlounge.com/2013/01/17/petra-jordan/ (Amazing pictures of an amazing place.)

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

I’ve read a lot of really amazing blogs so it shouldn’t be too hard to fill up this list. Let’s all try to keep inspiring the people in our lives and continue that wondrous butterfly effect.

The Butterfly Effect

Easter has made me think a lot about this concept, specifically the religious implications of this holiday. I am not Christian or any other even remotely related religion. Actually I’m not part of any religion, I have deep spiritual beliefs, but thus far they haven’t lined up with any particular religion well enough for me to “convert” or whatever you want to call it. But I digress. My point is that I’ve been talking a lot about the butterfly effect, the concept that simple, irrelevant actions can later cause drastic, unforeseen results. Which takes me back to Easter, let’s put aside the whole son of God thing for a moment (this is for the purposes of an example only, I am in no way dismissing anyone’s religious beliefs, just making a point) and think for a moment about how the world would be different if the man by the name of Jesus Christ had never walked the Earth. Think how radically and drastically the world would be different. It’s simply unfathomable in so many ways. A single life altered the very course of our history, and provided the foundations for whole civilizations. If that’s not the ultimate example of how the actions of a single person can change the world, I don’t know what is.

                Am I saying that we all have the potential to alter the world quite that much? Well, probably not. But if the actions of one can do that, what about the actions of a few? It’s things like that that keep my hopes alive. Sometimes I’ll eavesdrop on random conversations around me. I’ll be eating and catch a snippet from the table next to me and I’ll tune in or I’ll just hear a flash of something as I walk by. I call it moments of synchronicity, because for a brief moment our paths touched, just a whisper of contact barely noticed. And I wonder is that person the next big business tycoon or maybe the next best-selling author. Maybe I’ll see them on TV one day, demonstrating some great act of kindness or perhaps incredible cruelty. Will our paths touch again someday? Will I even remember them if they do? Maybe ours paths will actually cross next time. Are they going to be just an acquaintance to me or a valued friend? More than anything though I wonder how their story will end. It seems like there aren’t many happily-ever-after’s anymore, but maybe it will be different for them. Maybe they’re one of the few and they’ll know true and lasting happiness in this life. I hope so.

                It amuses me, because I’m not really one of those kinds of people normally. I don’t want to save the world. I just want to make life better for me and mine, make my corner of the world a little brighter. But in that stolen moment, that small window into the life of someone I don’t know and likely will never see again, I feel that I can see them and all those infinite possibilities that could come to life through those small, insignificant acts that they’re making right in that instant. I see it and I know that there is a purpose to life, I don’t know what it is, and I think it’s likely different for everyone, but I know it’s there.

                Two weeks ago I started a blog. Since then I’ve acquired thirty-two followers, over a hundred likes, thirteen comments, and one nomination for an award. I’ve written eighteen posts (not counting this one) and have met a lot of new and interesting people. I don’t what I was expecting when I started this blog, and I don’t know how my stats compare to other new blogs, but I am incredibly pleased with it. By starting this blog I’ve begun my own butterfly effect and I can’t wait to see where it leads me. So thank you all for your support and for reading my strange ramblings, I am honored to be followed by such lovely people. May you all fly high on your own gossamer wings.

Changes and Double Digits

Hello, everyone.

       This is just a short little announcement before I get to the real post. First I must ask that you please bear with me. As you might have noticed I’ve been frequently changing my about page and things like that (If you haven’t noticed please forget that I brought it up). This is simply because this my first blog and I kind of just jumped into it, so I’m still figuring out what works for me and what doesn’t. Give me a bit longer and I’m sure I’ll be properly settled.

         On a more exciting note Shadowed in Moonlight has reached double digits in followers! Which probably isn’t all that exciting in the grand scheme of things, but it’s making me kind of giddy. So thanks to all 11 of my followers and to everyone who have liked my posts. You’re all great!

… now if only I could get some comments going 😉