If You Dare

Call to my blood

If you dare

It sings in my veins

Riding the edge

Seeking for something

An outlet to release

All that’s trapped inside

 

Come into my world

If you dare

See the specters

And shadows of the past

Watch out for the holes

The pits filled with pain and rage

They’ll tear you apart

 

See into my eyes

If you dare

I can twist around you

And tear you down

I’m feeling viscous

Can’t you tell?

Cruelty is my pleasure today

 

Try to hold me

If you dare

I’m as insubstantial

As a wraith

As inconsequential

As a whisper

Never heard or understood

 

Stop me

If you dare

I want to bleed

I want to see bruises

Upon pale skin

I want to burn

I want to be torn apart

 

I am wild, feral

You can’t tame me

You don’t even dare to try

Would you like to see

What lies beneath my skin?

I assure you

That I’m not as human as I seem

 

There are days I wake up in a state that I call “riding the edge” because, for reasons far beyond my comprehension, I crave danger, violence, and pain. Mostly pain. Over the years I have removed the majority of the outlets I used to use for these moods, largely because they were destructive. Doesn’t mean the craving stopped though. So now I just wait it through and try to distract myself from the restlessness that makes me want to burst from my skin. I feel raw, violent, restless and yet I get I strange satisfaction from it all, it’s almost what I imagine being buzzed, on alcohol or drugs, might feel like. And I haven’t even done anything with it, just wrote this poem and listened to some music that maths my mood. I have no real understanding of this aspect of myself. I don’t know why this mood exists at all or what triggers it, nor do I know what to do to satisfy it or if there’s any way to safely do so. I don’t know and that bothers me.

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About jessicanix

I am a college student that loves everything about the written word. Stories and poetry are my mediums of choice and, with a little luck, I can show you why. Come visit me at Shadowed in Moonlight.

Posted on April 22, 2013, in Midnight Ramblings, Wolfsong and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. we all have many facets to our characters we need to celebrate and own them ! Great post!

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