Called by Darkness

Hello! My name, at least for the intents and purposes of blogging and things of that nature, is Jessica Nix. This is my first time trying anything like this, so hopefully I’ll find that it’s something      that I enjoy. I intend for this blog to be my journal, diary, workshop, spiritual center, confessional, library, school, and whatever else strikes my fancy at the time. Basically I want this to encompass all that I am.

I have had two passions in my life: animals and writing. My interest in animals was very encouraged, writing was too but not nearly as much (which probably had as much to do with the content as with the activity). I was always expected to make animals my career and I though that’s what I wanted as well. Unfortunately I’ve discovered some very important things about myself in the last few years: first that I don’t actually like science, second that I don’t like politics, and third that I’m morally uptight in center areas. All those issues are a problem no matter what field I try for with animals and if I’m honest I never wanted to make animals my job anyway. I enjoy being around them, observing them, and working with them, but not as a job. A hobby yes, job no. So I’ve turned to my other love.

The written word has always had a kind of magic to it. There are no rules to words. Well, yes there are, it’s called grammar, but that’s not what I mean. With words comes the power to create from nothing. With them you can mend a soul or break a heart. You can inspire awe or fear. You can create worlds and creatures that have never existed beyond the mind’s eye. I discovered writing as a preteen and found in it a way to purge my soul and thus retain my sanity. In poetry I found a way to express the emotions I kept locked away at all other times. In fantasy stories I found a way to nourish my soul, to remind myself of the beauty and magic of the world.

Which brings me to the name of my blog, Shadowed in Moonlight. I had an interesting childhood, one that required me to see the world in a very particular way. In a very real way my perspective flipped, in the sense that what other people considered “good” was generally actually bad to me. My parents are highly deceptive people and they often pretended to be something they weren’t. More than anything else, I hated that. I learned to find sanctuary in the night and did my best to hide in the shadows during the day. One of things I did often, around the same time I started writing poems and stories, was to sneak out of the house at night. I loved the night because everyone else was asleep and for once the world was silent. I would sit beneath the moon and cry, begging the powers that be to deliver me from that life, and taking comfort in the darkness. So there I was a shadow bathed in moonlight and even to this day, so many years later, all I have to do is look to the moon to find peace.

The point of all that is that my work is occasionally dark, not as dark as some of the works I’ve read over the years, but fairly dark all the same. If that isn’t your thing, well you can’t say I didn’t warn you. My hope is that writing this blog will be a first step toward a bigger dream. If not, then it’s good practice. I wrote a poem earlier today, right after starting the first draft of this blog entry, and I figured I would include it here. This is Called by Darkness.

Shrouded in darkness

The child cries

Lost in twilight worlds

And whispered lies

Burned by light

The child shakes

Sweetly betrayed

The world slowly breaks

Wrapped in shadows

The child stares

At a world of shattered glass

And no one cares

Highlighted in brightness

The child bleeds

Pristine white stained red

In a world where cruelty breeds

Called by darkness

The child cries

The last tear falls in shimmering light

And hope dies

Until next time, goodnight.

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About jessicanix

I am a college student that loves everything about the written word. Stories and poetry are my mediums of choice and, with a little luck, I can show you why. Come visit me at Shadowed in Moonlight.

Posted on March 17, 2013, in Midnight Ramblings, Wolfsong and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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